Monday, December 31, 2007

What a Steal!

Courtesy the Artswipe Collection

How is it that you can spend a year waiting for something to happen in the World News Headlines and then - BAM! - it happens right at the end of the year. No, I'm not talking about the assassination of Benazir Bhutto. That kind of thing happens to world leaders all the time, so excuse me if I can't commit to that news item. The news story that caught my undivided attention in the last 24 hours and which has become a contender for most compelling true crime story of the year (if not the most nail-biting event of the post 9/11 age) is the tale of the Brisbane couple who got busted with $40,000 worth of stolen library booty in their home. Over 1000 library books, DVDs, CDs and magazines were hidden in cereal boxes in their home. "Pass the milk sweetie, these Bryce Courtenay bran flakes are a little dry and plotless."

Apparently every item had been read by the couple and because of that, I really think we should cut them some slack. Everyone knows that only in rare cases does anyone ever read books borrowed from the library. So give peace a chance a leave the couple alone. They've suffered enough for their crime against literature and civic responsibilities.

To show my support, I went to the local second hand store and stole a book. The security at my local library is way too tight so I had to resort to the local Vinnies. Libraries and thrift stores are basically the same thing aren't they? Since my crime I have been planning the best dinner parties. For instance, today I've been workshopping a New Years Eve dinner party with my stolen literary treasure: The Australian Women's Weekly: The Busy Woman's Cookbook (Food editor: Ellen Sinclair, Golden Press, 1971).

So if you were lucky enough to be invited over for dinner tonight, this is what you can expect:

Entree: Mushrooms a la Greue

Mains: Little Carpetbag Steaks with a Zucchini and Pineapple Salad

Dessert: Cold G
rand Mariner Soufflé with Brandied Caramel Pears

Happy New Years and Bon Appetit.


Anonymous said...

Carpetbag Steaks wtf?

Plum Clafoutis

Skanky Jane said...

This story makes me hot Arty - you're so dirty - wanna play crime and punishment with me?