Church of the Poison Mind II

The Artswipe

Spot the Difference (from the Sorry series) 2008
Mobile phone propaganda

The Artwipe made a little pilgrimage to church this morning. I rarely go in, I just check out the signage outside as I always enjoy a Christian pun first thing in the morning. My local church had a sign announcing, "It's Good to Say Sorry" followed by a bible verse. As forgiveness is a Christian past-time, it's unsurprising that Rudd's Sorry Day has been turned into a kind of churchey truism, resplendent with as much meaning as a bumper sticker that might read "Quakers Say NO to ALL WAR". Yes, such a bumper sticker exists. See image below.

So anyway. Today I thought I would actually go inside the church and say my own sorry to God, Mankind, Womankind, Indigenouskind.... Even "In-kind". Because sometimes people give me free shit! As I entered the church, the Reverend Man greeted me, we sat down and he said, "What ails you child?"

The Artswipe said:

What concerns me, Father, is how Christianity has been inextricably linked to the injustices experienced by Aboriginals in this country. Now that the Australian Government says Sorry, the Church de-politicises the Sorry gesture for its own trite and ye-olde-worlde marketing machine. Is this not a colonialist mentality of theft: to drain the real meaning of the apology to the Stolen Generation and recast it within a Judeo-Christian ideology where forgiveness is never Black as it's always whiter than White and washed in the Blood of the Lamb?

The Artswipe
From The Seatbelt Series, 2007 and ongoing
Mobile phone moment

Secrets and Lies

The Artswipe

Pass the Salt, 2007
'Video art' still

At the end of 2006 I felt that there were just some topics that had been thoroughly exhausted in last year's Artswipe blog. I'm not mentioning any names but one starts with a Big O and I don't mean Roy Orbison, bless his heart.

OK, so admit it, I got sucked into Oprah's special on this new age junk DVD called The Secret. The ads for Oprah's special featured soundgrabs from Oprah saying she'd found some "secret" from all the way from "down under". Nothing irks me more than the phrase Down Under. It is like that phrase is reserved for Americans - maybe because Australia sounds too much like Austria? Who fucken knows.

Anyway, the chick from Down Under who professes to have a bestselling secret is Rhonda Byrne. Good old Rhonda, who sports this cute little bindi on her forehead, wrote a book about the so-called "science" of positive thinking. The book is now a best-selling DVD that instructs duped and desperate consumers how to make lots of cash, have lots of sex, have lots of fun, have lots, lots, lots, lot. Last time I checked there was this guy in the Old Testament called "Lot" and he had this wife who turned into a pillar of salt, as you do.

On the news this morning there was a story about how new research indicates that iodised salt is brain food, and that there are moves to put it in sliced bread so Australians will become a smarter people. Is it just me or was that news story implying that "Ossies" aren't too bright? Maybe we should all go "down under" with Lot's salty wife and get a bit smarter in the process? I lost a few brain cells this week watching TV so can someone pass the fucking salt?

Whatever the case, The Secret is supposed to be a miracle drug that makes everything better. Success is measured by excess, so there's no wonder Oprah's eating it with a spoon. Oprah even claims that she knew the secret all along - she just didn't have the wisdom of "teachers" like Rhonda Byrne to articulate and package it. The Secret works like this: Buy the DVD and Paris Hilton might go to prison for more than a paltry 20something days. Read the book and George Bush might eat some salt. Watch Oprah and you may get a lifetime subscription to her magazine or bookclub. Goody!

A single mother was profiled on Oprah talking about how The Secret helped her out of the downward spiral of debt. Another woman told how she hadn't had sex with her husband in a year. Now they're whorin' all over the goddamn place. What beautiful stories. Then an ad break came on. Belinda Emmett's album is out in case you didn't know.

I plan on buying The Secret. As part of my positive thinking adventure I will envisage a world where bullshit new age culty propaganda does not exist and people eat more salt.

The Artswipe

Belinda, 2007
'Video art' still