Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Notes on a Vandal

The Artswipe
I Can Eat Cake with Ellen, 2007
Mixed media installation

Unfortunately, the 79th Oscars did not prove Artswipe's psychic ability. With only nine categories correct in my Oscar party predictions, I had no other choice but to eat cake with Ellen. As she was so desperately unfunny in her hosting ability I later threw it in her face. Damn it, if I had remembered Melissa Etheridge sang the song for An Inconvenient Truth, I'd have surely guessed that one because lesbian is so hot this year along with Oscar's ridiculously racist ode to all cultures great and small. This year's focus on nominations over winners just demonstrated how despite our differences, we're all winners. Bless.

Anyway kids, see you next year at Oscar's 80th. Meanwhile you can see me at the local community hall practicing my contemporary shapeshifting shadow dancing. This week we're taking the Twin Towers as our inspiration. I might wear my Crash Parties, Not Buildings outfit.

Postscript: after publishing this post, I commissioned Skanky Jane to produce an animated GIF image of Artswipe's Oscar predictions merging ever so psychedelically with the actual outcome. It can be seen below in the Prize Queen post as I replaced the old image of the Oscar predictions with a kind of Before and After extravaganza. Thanks SJ!


Skanky Jane said...

I haven't got anything clever to say - but you are so funny!

The Divine Miss White said...

Who is Oscar anyway ...?

Liina's said...

Noice cake. Love it!

The Art Life said...

Hello Mr Swipe,

Would you be interested in writing a guest blog for us while we are away?

Warmest regards,

TEAM Art Life

lucia said...

So who's your pick as next year's emcee?
Personally, I would have thought Anna Nicole was a shoe-in until things went pear shaped. Hell, even the statuette looks like J Howard Marshall clutching his chest mid coronary.

mayhem said...

I actually walked past some place on Broadway where I think they were getting ready to make the big announcement or some hoo har.... It was pissing down, and I was trudgeing along looking for a TAX OFFICE and I saw this place full of red carpet and TV cameras and What i thought were lots of Logie statues...... And just as I was cursing Fox and imagining TV week going GLOBAL I remembered where I was.

lauren said...

thank goodness Marty is a director, 'cos he did an awful job of acting surprised and/or gracious when he finally won his gold doorstop - the oscar equivalent of a pity-fuck?

jade said...

i loved that crazy old lesbian hehehe